Who am I?
The Sufi poet Bulleh Shah addresses the question of one's identity in his poem Kafi 7; The underlying theme that resonated with me being that - ‘we know not who we are’. Jordan Peterson reiterates this ideology when he asserts that we are simultaneously the most complicated biological specimen on the planet, yet we are incapable of setting the timer on a microwave.
As a child I was the gregarious sort, brimming with confidence and never passing up an opportunity to make friends. However, it is only very recently that I began to really value this concept of friendship. At the time my ideology was not devoid of appreciation, but it was lacking in sincerity because the latter can only be born from a deep conviction from within to be a better person- not just for yourself, but for your friends.
As the eldest, I was patient zero; when we consider trauma in retrospect we often forget that our parents are human too, and as a result having a safe and sheltered childhood is an ideal but mostly not the norm. There’s an unspoken responsibility that comes with being the eldest—to set an example, to succeed, to lead. I felt this weight acutely, but I wish I had understood earlier how important role models are for personal growth. Without clear examples, I struggled to define the kind of person I wanted to become. Yet, these challenges also taught me resilience and the value of self-reflection.
Self-awareness and faith. When you come to terms with the notion that you are not infallible and that the best way to move forward is something you cannot know for sure; it is in these moments that faith is a guiding light.
There is a synergy between consciousness and faith; In a world driven by proof and empirical knowledge, the concept of faith may seem outdated and illogical to some. However, those that have had a personal encounter with the Father, believe in something that cannot be physically proven, but which we believe holds immense power in shaping our lives. In this sense faith is a comfort because even when I have to walk in shoes I feel I will never be able to fill, I am constantly reminded that I am not alone and that I just need to go along life's journey one step at a time, trying my best and appreciating the people who have helped me along the way.
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